V for Voracious

•May 22, 2011 • 1 Comment

Sometimes we can get so focused in something we need to stop and take a look around to appreciate that we are not the only ones victimized by the Voracious, greedy, money hoarders, morally corrupt people in the world.

I was just about to sign off and read this article from Fox News. Its sad to say the least. Sad for the 16 year old girl who lost her boyfriend of 2 years and never got to go with him to the prom, sad for the parents of the 17 year old teen who was killed while driving home from a Baseball dinner and finally, sad that a major, expensive retailer would sell out their “Inch” over a 1,200.00 refund for a dress that’s never been used, never will be used and they could sell again. The real kicker here is how do you say no when someone tells you the returned money was going to help bury her beloved boyfriend.

Amazing. Can you imagine having to return something to the store that you don’t need anymore because the person you bought it for died, and they REFUSE? Believe me, I work in retail and as a store manager there are few calls I can’t make in regard to returns. My company wants a return customer and a happy customer so that customer will tell other customers to shop at my store.

The LAST thing any company should want is national news displaying you as cold, heartless, Voracious people who put money before your customer during a time like this. I understand policy. But surely there has to be exceptions for extreme circumstances. I hope and pray that people avoid that store, complain to the powers that own the store and reconsider their stance. Also, I hope someone who reads this story makes a donation to help bury the poor kid.

This quote is very famous but when you apply it to high end, greedy retailers, its pretty damn funny…….and true.

“And thus I clothe my naked villainy with old odd ends stolen forth from holy writ/And seem a saint when most I play the devil.

Yep, they come up to you looking all fancy and clean cut, treat you great, very polite and then make the sale. After they have your money….well…you read what happened.

LiVia

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National Initiative for Transsexual Awareness and Equalty.

•May 22, 2011 • 1 Comment

Good Morning,

It is my pleasure to announce the beginning of a new organization that I am proud to be apart off. I hope you will check it out. This is a joint project with 5 other Trans Women. Enjoy and welcome to the National Initiative for Transsexual Awareness and Equality.

LiVia

An open apology: Dear Julie

•May 21, 2011 • Comments Off on An open apology: Dear Julie

As any activist will tell you, we are a passionate bunch. If our fights are virtuous and the people we fight are not, it leads to some very interesting verbal battles.

I have tried, God knows I have tried to speak my mind and advance calls for equality. Mean spirited groups such as the Anti-LGBT Religious and the Far Right leaning conservatives declare all out verbal AND sometimes physical warfare when they say people like us need to die. When they say we will burn in a hell and when they tell us our children will follow. When they say God hates us, and they tell us we deserve to be murdered, raped, belittled and denied Grace. Words like these slash and cut to the very soul and after so long you learn in order to fight back you have to be quicker then the enemy, smarter and use truth, however harsh that truth is, as your sword for your fight. You have to defend yourself.

Time and time again it has been proven that those that are strong will walk over those that are weak. So, even the most peaceful of us sometimes must draw the sword of Righteousness and armor our self in Belief(Whatever that belief may be) and fight for whats right.

Sometimes our sword gets turned on the wrong people, or the right people for the wrong reasons. Sometimes when your surround its like a “Hogan’s Ally” where you try to hit the bad guys but every once in a while, hit someone innocent.

Anyone who has kept up with the dramatic and lengthy battle between Julie, from the “Goldencoathanger.com” site and me knows well we each have fought to make our points clear. We fought for our beliefs.

But when you dig through it all, really it comes down to two things.

  1. Julie believes I was directing anger towards her for not wanting children
  2. Julie wants to know why my attack was so vicious to start with

To answer her first question, Julie I never once told you not having kids was wrong. Lots of people can’t have kids. When I refered to you as “selfish” I was implying that your reasons for not having them seemed selfish. You should know yourself well enough to see your writings are very pointed and jaded. You have an air about you that I see as the same type of aura which develops from being attacked relentlessly from all sides.

I saw the hate mail you get. I saw the names you were called. They were terrible. People like us grow thick skin and defend ourselves with chilled satire and condescending remarks when we feel that we were attacked first. We justify brandishing our sharp tongue and the war is on.

On this issue, I apologize. There is no law saying you can’t be selfish. There is no law that says you can’t put yourself first. As I mention before, what I read was an attack against you that escalated into something else. We are both never going to agree on all aspects of the argument with that lady because you and I see with different eyes. However, I had no business in the argument to begin with and I was overly harsh and unkind with my words. I made a mistake. Your letters to that woman struck a cord within me about another person forcing their beliefs on someone else. I know that woman started it by doing that to you, but to me, in the end you turned it around and were doing the same thing to her. Again, not looking to debate you here. This is what I saw.

You’ve called me a Moron and an idiot, but I assure you I am neither. I called you many names as well that I wish I could take back. I feel that in my responses to you, I did show my point on how I viewed what you were saying, but like you, I used Icy satire to drive home my point. Neither of us were right in how we dealt with each other. Neither of us can claim to be the innocent once the ball got rolling, but what I do take full responsibility for is starting the fight to begin with. For that, I humbly ask your forgiveness.

Why was my attack so vicious? Simply put, I hate bullies and I loathe people who keep on attacking even when the battle is won in their favor. That’s what I saw. Again, there is no debate here because this was my perspective. I felt justified in brandishing that sword and, to a degree I don’t regret it. I regret that I entered a battle in an area I know so very little about. I regret I didn’t ask for clarification first. I regret I used the harsh words usually saved for people who without question deserve them and have proven those names to be accurate. I was presumptuous and that was wrong.

I will always feel that the last 2 letters to that woman never needed responses. If those letters had been addressed toward me and my fight, I would have agreed with the lady that there was no point in continuing the fight and walked away.

You are not me. I am better then you? I don’t know. Are you better then me? I don’t know. What I do know is your site is full of venom that is the result of a large population trying to force upon you something you don’t believe. You believe in a woman’s right to choice unconditionally. Many, including myself I have come to realize, don’t. You believe in living Child free and with that I DO believe.

I look around this word full of hate and last night while I laid in bed I thought about your words. In light of whats happening in Tennessee and Wisconsin against a community that just want the fucking right to love and be left alone, to be equal and go their way, and in light of all the harsh, cruel, vicious and vile words used against us, why I asked myself should a child be brought into this word just to know one day their innocence will be shattered like mine was, like yours was. Is that not a form of cruelty in and of itself? Why have a child if all you have to teach them is hate? Why have a child when you can’t even take care of yourself or your own pet?

You said in your blog when the woman asked for the debate to stop: “That’s not how this works lady. You’re rude to me, I’m rude to you. I will have to be banned from posting before I stop” That’s a generalized quote but pretty spot on. It has to end somewhere and that somewhere is here.

On the subject of abortion, which I will not go into my detailed views because they are complex, we will never agree, Julie. But to you I say I’m sorry. I was wrong to attack you with the force I did. It was like taking a fire hose to blow out match flame. I made a mistake. We all do. And in these times when tensions are high and we are fueled and armored in our steadfast beliefs……sometimes mistakes happen when a flame meets that already charged air.

I have come to learn in public speaking that if you can’t admit when your wrong, how can anyone believe you when you’re right? If you cannot set aside pride for the greater good of peace, why should anyone listen to you?

Julie my site brings in about 40-120 views a day. Now that’s not much but for a blog that’s been open 2 weeks, I think its mighty fine. Those people read what I have to say and I owe them more then just poorly aimed remarks and subject matter against fights that aren’t mine at the time.

I’m sorry Julie.

I’m sorry to my readers for distracting from the true reason for this blog.

I’m sorry Jessica that you got dragged in the middle of this, but am so grateful you acted as a mediator. Because of you, I understood where she was coming from and why she speaks the way she does.

I’m sorry Christine for allowing myself to stray from the path of fighting for TS rights.

But mostly, I beg forgiveness from God, who knows my heart and intentions and knew I should have sought His guidance in this matter far sooner then last night.

For me, the matter is closed. I’m still new to this wide world of blogging and I see how it can be easy to get distracted. Hate is not conquered with more hate. It is conquered with patience, understanding, love and the unbreakable will to vanquish that hate with truth, whatever that may be.

“You either die the hero or live long enough to see yourself become the Villain” – The Dark Knight

I implore all of you out there who are fighting the good fight for what you believe is right to be cautious. If you don’t pay attention and catch yourself early, one day you may find where once you played the protagonist, you end up spewing the same hate as those you once fought. I’m glad I caught myself early in my blogging experience.

Thank you for reading.

LiVia

V for Vengeful: Tennessee passes Discrimination bill

•May 20, 2011 • 1 Comment

I just don’t know what to say…..I’m ashamed I ever stepped foot is this state as a child and I’m ashamed I grew up here. I’m ashamed of my Government and I’m sad for the LGBTTQ community.  How can anyone argue its okay to discriminate?

You can read the article from Nashville’s Channel 5 news. Beware, this is something coming to a state near you.

I guess all those business’s who cried “Hardship” got their revenge on us poor ungodly Faggots, Dykes and Trannies huh? Please good gentlemen and ladies of the Board, forgive us for our transgression of being BORN.

I call for a BOYCOTT against the State of Tennessee and emails to be sent to the Congressmen who allowed this to happen. Be polite, no raging, but please make sure to add you will be sure to do all you can to make damn sure they don’t get re-elected. There is no room for hate in ANY capital city who’s whole purpose is to protect its citizens.

Oh, and least I forget…..the Nationally known Tennessee Bill (Don’t say gay bill) passed as well…..I’m simply sick over it.

Seriously, how many more kids need to die from suicide because they are taught from the beginning that how they feel is wrong? If ONE child kills himself over the lack of information that Tennessee lawmakers restricted today, anyone who voted for this mean and vicious law should stand trial for murder.

LiVia

Important Questionaire for any Transsexual\Intersex persons

•May 20, 2011 • Comments Off on Important Questionaire for any Transsexual\Intersex persons

I am asking any and all people who associate as Transsexual\Intersex-ed to answer the 8 simple questions below and email your reply to me at Vforvivified@yahoo.com

I also ask that you link this to any and all websites, blogs or Forums that support Transsexual rights. The purpose of this research is to determine the climate of those who Identify as Transsexual as well as their differences of opinion from the rest of the Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Transgender community.

NOTE: THE NAMES AND EMAIL ADDRESSES OF THOSE WHO REPLY WILL ONLY BE SEEN BY ME AND WILL NOT BE RELEASED TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC.

PLEASE PUT YOUR FIRST NAME ONLY IN THE SUBJECT LINE AND NOTE THAT YOU ARE EITHER TRANSEXUAL OR INTERSEX-ED. ALL EMAILS WITHOUT THIS INFORMATION WILL BE DELETED.

1.) Do you personally feel as a woman or man in transitioning and identifying as Transsexual, you fit under the umbrella term of “Transgender” along with cross dressers, gender benders, gender varient, transvestites, etc? Please offer details to your choice.

2.) Once you have completed transitioning, how would you view yourself:

A.) You are no longer TS. You have finished your transitioning and believe you should be treated and recognized as a regular woman or man.

B:) You are always going to be TS. No amount of transtioning will change that.

C.)You now consider yourself Gender Varient.

D.) Other, please explain.

3:) Do you want to stay involved with the general LGBT community after you are done with transitioning?

3.B)Would you stay involved if there was a Transsexual Advocacy Group. “Involvement” means of any kind, including blogging or making donations anonymously.

4.)Do you believe that Transsexualism is a medical birth defect or is it caused more from external/environmental causes or is it a choice?

5.) Do you feel people who are Transgender (cross dressers, drag queens and king. Transvestite, gender bender, gender varient, etc. should claim and be awarded the same specific rights such as access to female bathrooms, Special rights for women, etc(If leaning toward female gender association and of course the other way around  for those leaning Male gender association) as TS people do?

6.)Do you feel Transsexuals should have their own representation in the larger organized LGBT groups to ensure that people are educated about what TS is really all about and help discern from Transsexuals to Transgender? (Example, term changed to LGBTTQ(Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Questioning)

7.) Do you feel we are unintentionally held back from moving forward in our quest for equality and subjects of huge misinformation and Stereotype because the public can not tell the difference between someone who is TG and someone who is TS? If so, why?

8.) Do you feel the LGBT community honestly is working just as hard for TS rights as they are for LGB rights or do you feel many of them seem to put us off track and would(Like HRC did 2007) sell us out for their own gain like gay marriage or passing the equal rights law by restricting it to just LGB as was done in 2007?

Thank you for answering these questions. Please Copy\Paste and return to vforvivified@yahoo.com

Please Donate. Anything helps. Link works now

•May 19, 2011 • 1 Comment

Please Donate. Everyone needs a hand now and then. Please click here to to make a donation today. Thank you.

As a woman still under going transitioning, its hard to find work. Its been even worse since I had to move and care for my mom. She needs me and I have a duty as her Daughter to care for her now that she can barely walk and is in the final stages of Hepatitis C; a serious and fatal illness she contracted from a tainted blood transfusion after giving birth to either my sister or me back in the late 70’s early 80’s.  I started a site just for her and what little money we do get from donations to her do little more then pay for her prescriptions. She still works, and suffers horribly for it. I do all I can.

I ask open, loving and caring people, or anyone who just wants to help and can to please make a donation to help out. Transitioning is expensive under the best conditions, but when life throws you something like this that prevents you working as you need to save up for GRS(Gender Reassignment Surgery), sometimes all you can do is ask for help from your fellow man and put it in God’s hands. I shall post how much I have raised at the end of each week. We are marching toward the goal of $28,000.00.

I am still deciding my surgeon, but right now it is between Dr Marci Bowers or Toby Meltzer.

That number seems impossible to me, but if 28 thousand people just donated 1 single dollar, it could be done. That’s only a fraction of a large city. I hope if you have enjoyed my posts or if they have had a positive effect on your life, you will consider helping. If you don’t, well times are hard and I’ll still keep writing.

Here’s to Hope and my attempt to find Faith.

Click here to donate using Paypal. Its fast, safe and secure.

Livia

V for Vacuous: Not all LGBT Organizations treat everyone as equals. (Also a note on Transsexual Vs Transgender)

•May 19, 2011 • 1 Comment

This is something I have been considering posting for a while. In light of the intense situations growing in the country, its important to remember who our allies are and who we need to watch out for. Even though  my site has been dedicated to mostly those who are TS, I have found myself defending Gay’s and Lesbians more often then not.

Something that every person who is Transsexual or Transgender needs to keep in mind, not everyone who is LGB is our friend. Just as not every organization who claims to defend our rights actually has our best interests at heart.

Good groups are ones such as PFLAG. This group was the first to insist Gender Identity be covered on the ENDA bill. Back in 2007 when HRC(Human Rights Campaign) negated on their promise to support an “All inclusive bill” citing basically “If we get our rights first, we can then work on getting rights extended to cover Gender Identity.”, PFLAG refused to support the non-inclusive bill. A great respect is due to this Coalition of people fighting for the rights of ALL of us and not just looking out for one group.

A very interesting story is quoted below about a very sad chapter in the HRC History:

“Transgender people and allies have criticized the HRC for its stance on the 2007 version of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), which enumerated sexual orientation as a protected category but not gender identity and expression.[31] Once the legislation was submitted by U.S. Representative Barney Frank, HRC officially neither opposed nor supported it.[32] This followed a speech by HRC President Joe Solomonese at the transgender Southern Comfort Conference the previous month, where he said that HRC “oppose[d] any legislation that is not absolutely inclusive.”[33] (He later claimed to have misspoken.) HRC later explained it could not actively support a non-inclusive bill, but did not oppose it because the legislation would strategically advance long-term efforts to pass a trans-inclusive ENDA.(citation needed) The strategic value of this approach was disputed within the LGBT community, and many objected to the symbolic value of excluding transgender people from the bill’s protections. HRC’s position was considered a betrayal of the transgender community by many, including HRC’s first and only openly trans board member, Donna Rose, who resigned in protest.[34] It also separated HRC from other high-profile advocacy groups for LGBT people (e.g., PFLAG, Equality Federation, National Stonewall Democrats), who worked together under the banner of United ENDA to protest the bill.[35]

LGBT activists were stunned when HRC leaders announced that it would be softening demands for equal rights and consider making political bargains, such as supporting President George W. Bush‘s plan to privatize Social Security partly in exchange for the right of same-sex partners to receive benefits under the program.[36][37]

In 2007, HRC and Logo sponsored the first presidential forum in history to discuss LGBT-related issues. Critics[who?] wondered why Democratic presidential candidate Mike Gravel had been excluded from the debate.[citation needed] Senator Gravel was later invited to the forum, where he and Dennis Kucinich were the only candidates to express unequivocal support for same-sex marriage.”

Shocking, no? Now yes we can say this happened 4 years ago and they certainly go out of their way to seem TS and TG inclusive now. But whats really going on? Can you trust a group that so plainly and blatantly excluded one of the very minorities they swore to protect. I would be curious to know how many Transsexual and Transgender folks donated to HRC up to 2007. Can  you imagine the feeling of working hard, donating precious dollars, just to be sold out?

These days HRC seems to be on the level and I am certainly not saying to boycott them or even refuse to donate to them. I simply ask for you to consider their history and keep an eye on their actions. There should be the SAME amount of work going forth to protect the Gender Identity issue as there is to protecting those whom are GLB.

Next up is GLAAD( Gay, Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation). Everything that really needs to be said about others and my own  issues with them can be found here, on this article writen by Andrea Rosenfield.

The only quote I would like to point out is this: “According to GLAAD, transsexuals are their birth-assigned sex, and it does not change.”

This group however, does do a lot of work for the community and when angry people who are TS\TG call and complain, they take action. The problem with GLAAD isn’t their lack of action for those of us who are Transsexual or Transgender, its with their thinking of what exactly IS a Transsexual.

If you read the article it, in a nutshell really strikes home to the fact that Transsexuals are NOT Transgender. This was an umbrella term because no one knew where to put us. We are not drag queens. We are not cross dressers. We are not transvestites. We are not Gender Benders. The are not “Gender variant”.

I ask, if someone is born with a defect and takes steps to cure such defect, does it still mean they are forever to be known as the person “with that defect”? Consider that now a days we have “Gene Therapy” to help people with genetic issues. We have broken down the Human Genome. We live in a world where we accept people can be born with something wrong with them. In our case however, the damage is done in the womb. There is no fixing it without surgery.

Our defect is the Y Chromosome. It made our bodies male while something else in our brain development caused us to be female. Some people don’t believe this theory. I do. In the 12-13th  week of pregnancy you are suppose to get a wash of testosterone resembling that of a teen starting puberty. This wash is what causes the chemical changes in our brain to develop with a male brain gender Identity. If you don’t get it, or get it late, it doesn’t matter. Damage done.

There is also a theory stating some Transsexual arise from Environmental or external influence. I don’t know enough about that subject to speak but I will look into it soon.

Now as babies we don’t understand gender or sexual organs or anything. The doctor looks at us, see’s male or female parts and determines our gender. In the case of a Hermaphrodite, someone born with both sexes, sometimes parents are asked to choose which sex they wish the child to be, while some parents decide to let the child grow older and decide for themselves. Some people take pride as Hermaphrodites and never change anything, but what of those people who do? Are we forever still to call them Hermaphrodites even after they make the change? Why would we?

Thankfully more and more Transsexuals are coming out early and starting on hormones before the effects of puberty take hold. They do this with consent of their family and under a doctors care following the SoCv6(Standards of Care: Version 6). They get their surgeries early and actually get to LIVE some of their youth as the correct gender. Is this person, as they grow up, a man? A man that never went through male puberty, does not contain male sex organs and has a Vagina? That’s not a man. What is a man? The Dictionary says:

male

–noun

1.

a person bearing an X and Y chromosome pair in the cell nuclei and normally having a penis, scrotum, and testicles, and developing hair on the face at adolescence; a boy or man.
Please note the definition says AND and not “or”. Yes, we may have that genetic Y mutation in our cells, but what if there is no Penis? No Scrotum? No Testicles? No Facial hair? Hell I know bio women that have to shave their faces.
Is a woman without a Uterus or Ovaries any less a woman? With a nod to my dear debate partner Julie, does the lack of the desire to have children make you any less Female? I don’t think so.
If it all boils down to genetics and in our society we have proven that genetics can be wrong and even harmful when they are incorrect(Down Syndrome, Parkinsons, Huntingtons, etc. Why is it such a stress to call someone who has the Biological gender Identity of a female, possess female primary and secondary sex traits and lives in society as a female, bearing both State and Federal identifications showing them to be female and in many states, now have Birth Certificates showing them born Female, to actually be ACCEPTED as female. At the end of the journey we ARE female, just as we always knew we were and always had been. We may lack that other “X” Chromosome, but there is no way to remove it. We’re stuck with it. That alone should not, in light of everything else mentioned above, prevent us our rightful place in the Female society.That’s the Hypocrisy my friends. That is what seperates us from people who are Transgender. They are not us and we are not them. We are both special, a minority demonized because people just don’t understand us.
As transitioning women we suffer many of the hard ships natal women do. We fear for Breast Cancer. We fear for Heart Conditions. We suffer the discrimination at the work place and many times receive lower pay for the same, or better work. We both suffer Sexual Harassment. We both sometimes fear walking alone on dark nights. We sometimes fear being preyed upon. We all strive for equality and we all burn with a passion that only a woman could know. In fact, if no one told you our past, you might never even know our beginnings.

To me and several other documented cases, being Transsexual is a journey. Its a long and trying path that we hope to eventually end by living as the sex we were born to be, as our brain, mind, spirit and soul dictate to us. NO ONE has the right to tell us how we feel in those area’s. To me, once that journey is complete, its done. At that point I am no long “Trans” anything. Observe the following:

trans-

 1. a prefix occurring in loanwords from Latin ( transcend; transfix ); on this model, used with the meanings “across,” “beyond,” “through,” “changing thoroughly,” “transverse,”[…]

For someone who has finished their journey from MtF or FtM, “Transsexual” no long applies and thus really has no place in the community unless they desire to still fight the good fight for equality, but then they do it as a MAN or a WOMAN, not a TRANS Man or a TRANS woman. For those of us that are Gay, Lesbian or Bi-sexual, then yes, the community is still for us, but for different meaning.

I want you all to read those articles and really reflect on what they mean to you. Be careful whom you give your money too and make sure that they support the same ideals as you. Everyone deserves equal rights, Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgender and Transsexual. Those Questioning need to have the freedom to express and explore those feelings as well. Regardless of who you are, speak up. Change is happening and if you don’t say something or do something now, it will be the next generation who suffers for it.

Freedom. Equality. For Everyone. Forever.

LiVia