V for Venue: Transgender exclusive prison

•June 7, 2011 • Comments Off on V for Venue: Transgender exclusive prison

Good? Bad? I know the current law in the US at the bottom of the article scares the hell out of me. I just love the thought of being thrown in a male prison and being raped to death by men who haven’t seen a girl in years. Guess I now have more incentive to be good.


Italy to open first Transgender exclusive prison.


V for Vulgar?

•June 7, 2011 • 1 Comment

So I was reading this article about how former presidential nominee and senator John Edwards is facing some pretty serious charges of fraud and such. Anyway, as I was reading the following the para-graph I…well you have to read it for yourself.

After Elizabeth Edwards died, I wondered here on Healthland about what would happen to her children. The piece focused on her younger kids, Emma Claire and Jack, who were 12 and 10 when she died. But now, just six months later, it’s Cate Edwards I feel worst for. According to a profile of her in The Daily Beast, Cate put “a lot of time, blood, sweat, and tears into [Edwards’ presidential] campaign.” She believed in him, and an anonymous family friend noted that Cate has remained close with her father, despite his shortcomings, which now apparently include a complex cover-up in which $925,000 in illicit campaign contributions from two moneyed supporters was allegedly channeled to Rielle Hunter – Edwards’ former campaign videographercum-mistress and the mother of his daughter, now 3 – and campaign staffer Andrew Young, who claimed the baby was his in order to protect Edwards, his boss.

Now am I reading that right? Cum-Mistress? I mean I totally get that they are referring to her as going from his videographer to his mistress but seriously, they could have said it better in this case. Its a flat out slap in the face to the woman. It paints a picture of her as a whore however unintentional it may be. I hate it when men can screw around constantly and people are cool with it. A woman gets knocked by this guy and she gets vilified. News flash folks. Woman like sex too. Get out of the 1950’s.

‘We can fuck who we want when we want. Dig it or fuck off.”


V for Vile and Villainous:Westboro Bapt. Church

•May 30, 2011 • 1 Comment


In light of my recently loss and the utter destruction of some of my beliefs, I have finally arose vivified once again. To mark this more jaded and cynical self, I wanted to speak the following.

It is, as you well know, Memorial Day. This is the time of year we honor not just our fallen soldiers, but some would say all of our dead. We pay tribute to sacrifice of the ultimate kind and bear remembrance of those faces we know, and those we shall never know for what they did for our country, our lives or our cause.

To some people they see America as an evil place. I disagree. I see it as a hopelessly lost society that needs desperately to find its way. In a country where simple human rights are denied and blatant Discrimination Laws(Tennessee) are on the books, how can this country be called anything else but lost? The truth is however, not all, or even maybe half are lost. Its those we elected to represent US in the government who are to blame for most the corruption. Too many law makers listen to Far Right or Far left extremists with deep pockets and promises of power.

Why? Oh certainly there are a plethora of reasons that rob people of their common sense and refuse them the enlightenment of understand, but truth be told, when it comes down to it, mostly its Greed and God. The following is a passage from the Westboro “Godhatesfags” website.

“WBC to picket doomed america’s worship of the dead “heros.”  We have experience with the military in this country.  They are filthy, vile, self-worshipping beasts.  All bad all the time.  It is a lie that the military of this country is filled with brave, self-sacrificing patriots.  They are incompetent cowards and bullies.  Perverts of every sort.  They fight for the perverts of this nation to murder their babies, to “marry” their fag partners, and to commit whoredoms & abominations of every kind.  The Lord no longer builds the american house: nor does the Lord watch over and protect America.  (Psalm 127:1)  The soldiers are dying for the sins of this nation.  You have made God your enemy and He, Himself is fighting america.”

Sadly, that statement actually makes sense some how in their head. To call the Military “all bad, all the time” is arrogant and shows a blatant ignorance or sheer stupidity on their part. World War 1 and World War 2 are prime examples of the heroism and righteous glory of our Military during those conflicts. Westboro wouldn’t even exist had Germany had their way. Or, later on through history we may all be speaking Russion.

Self worshiping? I guess I missed the Golden Idol made out of General Petraeus or Patton or General George Washington. I mean sure, the Washington Memorial is pretty big and looks kinda phallic but I’ve never seen masses bowing down and chanting before it. And Beasts? Really? Well, I do admit we have our elites but if we were such monsters why would our men come back scarred and mentally ill from what they had seen. Anyway, didn’t you hear that gays are in the military? I think the “Beastly” gays before to be called “Bears” if I’m not mistaken…:-)

I agree that this country has fallen from its founding principals of “In God We Trust”. People forget that simple phrase is our founding principal and HISTORY. Its marked in our our own Supreme Court. Prayers are said in congress. Oh, and let us not forget “O yea O yea, court is now in session. The Honorable <………..> presiding. All ye having business before this court step forward and ye shall be heard. GOD SAVE THIS HONORABLE COURT. The whole reason we are able to even fight for equal rights and obtain them is because our founding fathers believed God made every man equal. This was of course later refined as time went on and expanded those rights to minorities. This is our history, for right or for wrong.

They go on to say our military fights so we can murder babies(Abortion) and “Fags” can marry each other. Well, clearly they aren’t keeping up with how things are. The Federal Government(Who runs the military) won’t even give us ENDA, let alone the right to marry. Further, I take offense to their exclusion. Its not just Fags who want to marry. Us Trannies, Dykes, Butches, Lesbo’s, Bears, Queers, etc would like a shot too.

Hey Westboro, you’re talking to the community who took the up side down pink Triangle, a symbol HITLER gave to the LGBT’s and turned it into a sign of hope, pride and honor. You can see one below. Do you really think after years of persecution we give two cents about what some Hillbilly, white trailer trash, honky who needs to learn what SHAMPOO is(Serious, take a look at videos of their main gal who runs this thing looks like) calls us? I mean damn, I LOATHE the term “Tranny” but if I heard it from you, I may not be able to maintain bladder control from my laughter. Consider the source, amiright? I mean I’m White(Nordic, Irish, English) and I’ll say those things about them. Let the Truth set you free.

Finally, we come to their reference in Psalms which of course relates to “Songs of Solomon”. They refer to the verse about “If you do not build your house with God, you build it in vain”. Now, this I kinda sorta get their point. People of the faith SHOULD build there homes with God. But there are many people out there who share different beliefs. God tells me not to judge because I don’t know the whole story, so fine, I won’t. But I have long disliked people quoting Psalms like its actual scripture from the Lord. They’re songs to praise Him, not teachings such as the rest of the Bible. I might as well quote Travis Tritt in reference to Westboro. “Here’s a quarter, call someone who cares.” or, for those of us who conduct anti protests against Westboro we could refer to good ol’ Willy Nelson and Toby Keith: “We’ll raise up our glasses against evil forces singin’ Whiskey for my men, beer for my Horses!”.

I think I spent about all the time I am willing to on this group. However, since I knew they would be out in force today it seemed just right to mention them and pay homage to their severe lack of knowledge of the Bible or to make any kind of rational sense at all.

I would like to personally thank all the Men and Women who have died to protect our rights and those rights that will be coming shortly. I would like to apologize on behalf of our government(Since they sure as hell won’t) to those service members who died hiding who they were just so they could keep their jobs and\or follow the calling of patriotism, or get educated.

I need to take this time and pray the underlining message of this Day is not lost. Our soldiers, Police, Firemen, and respected others did not die for a few of us or even most of us. They died defending all of us, their friends, their families and a country\community they love. Don’t dishonor their memory by continuing policies that that deny all Americans equal rights or the Supreme Court endorsement that Marriage is a fundamental right for all Americans.

Stop repeating History. Too many Black men died for a country that treated them “less than” not too long ago. Their blood was good enough to spill in the name of freedom on the battlefield, but they, as a people, were not worthy to drink or eat in the same places others were. They were not allowed to Marry who they wanted and so many people died and our great land forever tarnished by the battle for their rights. Black, White, Asian, Hispanic, Gay, Straight, Trans….we are all people. Give us ALL our rights and remember these words:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” – US Constitution

“All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.


V for LiVia: Broken

•May 26, 2011 • 1 Comment

I’m crushed. I’m bleeding to death. I just lost almost everything I hold dear.

Its done. I’m done. Its finished….

The “It gets better project” is a great campaign until you get the kids out of school and into the real world. Once in the real word you learn it doesn’t get better. It gets worse. If it truly got better why is our communities suicide rate 3 times that of others? If it really got better we could marry whom we love. If it really got better a lot of people would not have lost their familes just for the way they are.

So no….it doesn’t get better. In the real world you either pick up a sword and fight for your rights or stand back and let others do it for you.

Death. Heartbreak. Humiliation. Oppression. Forever.


In treasured loving memory of Muru. 2007 – 2011

•May 25, 2011 • 3 Comments


January 30th, 2007 – February 27th, 2011

My dog and best canine friend died February 27th, 2011. I just found out today. He was under the care of one someone I loved. They didn’t know how to tell me, so for nearly 3 months he’s been gone without my knowing. I assumed he was safe.

Its my fault he died. He was run over and left to die alone. I’m told he didn’t suffer. I know he was happy where he was at. I got to see him just a few days before. He didn’t know me at first but before I left he had his head in my lap as I pet him. He remembered me.

I wonder if he remembered how happy I was when he was given to me as a present by my then Girlfriend. He was just a little ball of fluffy snow back then. I wonder if he remembered how I saved his life by plucking over 80 ticks off his little body when I got him home. His breeders had not taken care of him.

I wonder if he remembered running around and playing. I wonder if he remembers trying to rape the male cats every chance he got. I wonder if he remembers jumping into bed with me while I held him close when my marriage ended and couldn’t stand to be alone. He laid there, loyal, loving and faithful as always.

But what I wonder most is if he remembered me abandoning him. I wonder what his days were like when I left for Washington because I had no choice and left him behind. I wonder if he remembered my betrayal.

What he didn’t know is how many times I tried to get money up to fly him to Washington. What he didn’t know is how many nights I cried over missing him. What he never knew was how badly I needed him. I wonder if he needed me as much as I needed him.

Now, knowing he’s been gone for so long I wonder if he saw me cry for him today. I wonder if he heard wails as tears fell like cold, hard rain in fall. I wonder if he finally saw that I had never wanted to leave him. I loved him…love him.

I held his collar for so long and so tight I hurt my hand. I wonder if he is watching me as some say the spirits of dogs will do for their Masters\Mistress’s.

I doubt it. Though I know he lived his life free, running with the wind and sleeping under the stars, having plenty of food and water, I still would have liked to watch him sleep one last time.

He is the second dog I have betrayed. The first I allow my mother to put to sleep when my dad died because we had no place for him. I should done something, said something more, cried out for mercy and begged for his 13 year old life to be spared. I watched him go to sleep and I wonder to this day if his last thoughts on this earth were “Why?” or “What did I do wrong?”

Though Muru is gone I know he was happy and loved. I’m so sorry I failed again. 4 years is not enough life. Muru, I love you so much. Thank you for all you did for me; for the laughs and joy and the shoulder when I had none. Surely if not all dogs go to heaven, this one will. Goodbye Muru. I’m so so sorry.

Rest peacefully in open fields under blue skies. Jesus, if dogs do go to heaven, please tell him he’s a good boy for me. He was your gift to me and you were right to take him back.

Love forever and for always my little “small pile of fresh snow”


V for Vivid Pain

•May 24, 2011 • 1 Comment

I miss you a little since you’ve been gone.

A few little memories keep hanging on.

I miss you a little. I guess you could say,

A little too much. A little to Often.

A little more everyday. – Country song.

For all the times I didn’t treat you right

For all the times I didn’t respect you

For all the times I took your love for granted

For losing site of what mattered most when fear took hold

For not being wise enough to see

Just how right you were for me

And even though I know its too late

And even though you’ve left me behind

I want you to know more than anything what I feel

Deep within my heart is real

Though I know the pain and sorrow of this loss will remain.

Close to my soul, forever in my heart, you’ll stay. – By LiVia

“No mortal and few immortals could possibly understand the love of a Unicorn.

None of them could possibly understand what kind of an unnatural thing it is for

a Unicorn to not know how to love. Love is the life of the Unicorn. To not know

how to love is to not know how to live. And in not knowing how to live, the

Unicorn, void of its essence, lies alone, in the dark weeping quietly till there is

nothing left but utter Silence.” – Passage from “Dark as Light” by Livia

V for Valuable: Middle TN Internal Medicine Associates

•May 24, 2011 • Comments Off on V for Valuable: Middle TN Internal Medicine Associates

First and foremost I must apologize for being absent for the last two days. Things have been busy and there really was no time for anything but chores. However now that I can stop for a brief moment, I thought it would be an excellent time to talk about Medical care in the L.G.B.T.T.Q Tennessee community.

Everyone has heard in the news about the “Don’t say gay” bill that currently sits at a stand still in the House of Rep’s and the recently passed “Discrimination bill” that forbids any cities from adding protections to their citizens by including Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity to their cities own Anti-Discrimination bill. The State of Tennessee would like to remind you that if your LGBTTQ, we don’t want you working here. No official has said that but that certainly is what it implies. It has been a harsh month on the community, so today I thought I would hare with you a positive story from the same state.

When I knew I had to transition and I just couldn’t wait any longer to do it, I had a problem. I had NO clue where I was going to go for my medical needs. I went to an Endocrinologist that was actually recommended by some other LGBT friendly site. He wouldn’t give me care. Even after talking to the receptionist on the phone and ensuring they saw “Transgender” patients, I was still refused. Its hard as someone being TS who is nervous, scared and feeling very exposed to start their journey with rejections.

Living in the South can be hard when you’re gay and, in my opinion, even harder if you’re Transsexual. But this is where I grew up and mostly spent my years until about 27. I had a Family doctor, Dr. Tracy Osborne from Middle Tennessee Internal Medicine Associates. I had seen her for years, as my family had before me. I had sent several friends(Whom will remain nameless) there to become patients and seek out care when they we’re ill because in my experiences, she not only is a brilliant Doctor but she did the one thing most Doctors don’t do anymore…She listens. I won’t go into too much about her other then to say her career specializing in Internal Medicine and Infectious Diseases’ speaks for itself.

The last thing I wanted was to go to my family doctor who had know me for a good while and knew my family. I couldn’t imagine the crushing devastation if I was rejected or if some how my family came to know that I was TS. I was terrified. But I was more terrified of postponing my journey any longer. I made my appointment, and arrived early. My heart was racing the whole time. When she came in I explained everything, on the verge of tears for most of the conversation. She sat and she listened.

When I was done she assured me nothing had changed; Not her opinion of me or her desire to keep me as a patient. She admitted she didn’t know much about it from the prescribing  aspect but she would look into it and learn. I brought my letter okaying my HRT and she wrote the scripts…perfectly. I didn’t realize how perfectly her care of me was till I moved to my current home in Seattle and saw an actual TS specialist. I never told Dr. Osborne but I was proud of her that day. She went above and beyond for her Patient and that makes a Great Doctor. It would have been so easy to tell me she didn’t feel comfortable prescribing me the meds and sending me else where. She didn’t and I’m grateful.

The staff there is fantastic, caring, non-judgmental and very understanding. When I lost my insurance I couldn’t afford to see Dr. Osborne anymore but she had hired a Nurse Practitioner, Jacob Page. I had to go through the hell of doing the “coming out” thing with him as well. He did exactly as Dr. Osborne had done…he listened and then reassured me everything would be okay. He has been nothing but amazing to me all through out. He’s like a mixture of a brilliant medical practitioner and one of those personal trainers who always tries to keep you positive and encouraging(On a somewhat off topic note on my part, he’s not bad looking either, lol).

This place has seen me go from a very unhappy and scared guy who wanted nothing more then to shed the “mask” I was wearing to the Woman I am today. I know I could not have taken those first important steps without them.

In closing, I would like to add that they do not specialize in Transgender care, but they will work with you as best they can. They DO follow WPATH’s Standards of Care v6(SoCv6). Don’t go there looking to skip that all important first step of Therapy. Once you have your letter, I am sure they will treat you with the utmost respect as they have me. They do not have a “Gatekeeper” mentality, they just follow the guidelines. Frankly I don’t blame them. Changing your body from one gender to another is serious business and often times there is no going back if you change your mind. I would hope my Doctor cared enough about my health to ensure that I had discussed this with a professional and we agreed this is what is right for me.

Middle Tennessee Internal Medicine Associates may not be a specialist in the Field of TS care, but I have no regrets and anytime I’m in town for a yearly visit, I usually stop in for a check up and blood work updates. I doubt I will ever find another Medical facility that has treated me with the respect and dignity I didn’t think I deserved back then, but by their initial understanding and professionalism to look beyond stereotypes and see me for ME, they helped me learn that I, like any other person, was deserving of that Respect they gave so freely from the very beginning.

To all of you there, from the bottom of my heart and the depths of my soul, thank you.